life of seven

a 13th birthday

This is how I find him on the morning of his thirteenth birthday. It could have just as easily been a shot of him playing with a ball, any ball. I think he loves sports as much as he loves music. But this morning, he couldn't resist the new stack of songbooks from his favorite musicals that his sisters gave him as a birthday gift. Though I'm sure that later on today, despite the rain, I will see him outside with a ball of some sort.

It's hard for me to believe that I have a 13 year old boy, now. The fact sounds scary, but the reality is wonderful, absolutely wonderful. He is so much fun, so full of life. Always joking. Kind to his siblings. In so many of his mannerisms, he reminds me of my side of the family- two of my cousins, Steve and David, and so, so much, of what I imagine my dad was like as a boy. The way he picks up a new sport in about five minutes flat, while his sisters and I have to consciously not let ourselves duck when a ball is thrown in our direction. The cheeky, mischievous grin that really means no harm. The love of being outside, working on some piece of equipment or coaxing something wonderful to grow.

However, in many ways he is so similar to my husband, especially in his love for logic and the ability to grasp a new concept the moment the basic elements have been explained to him. 

Anyone who visits our house and meets Gideon will also meet Pepper at the same time, because our/his German Shepherd is never more than a few feet from his side. How many hours has she spent lying at his feet under the piano? I couldn't begin to count them.

Today, Gideon and I are going to make homemade pretzels together, at his request. Tomorrow, friends are coming over for a sleepover. It's birthday season around here, with Evie turning ten next Saturday , Jude turning seven in May, Cate turning seventeen last month. Spring is always full of parties and celebrations. But what is more special than celebrating the lives of those who make me the happiest person in the world?

Gideon's 12th

This boy had a pretty great birthday- the highlight was going to see Newsies as a family in Denver at the Buell Theater. The Buell sits directly next to Boettcher Concert hall, and we all gave a fond wave to the backstage door Grace got to go through last August when she performed with the Colorado Symphony. We had actually bought tickets to Newsies and gave them as Christmas gifts- a great tradition that we will do again next year, I think. Such a memorable gift. Anyway, I purposely chose March 31 for the date to see the show so that we could double up on the celebrating on the day Gideon turned 12. We have been listening to the Newsies soundtrack for weeks now, and Jude and Truman like to dress like newsies now. Sometimes Gideon lets them borrow his hat. The show was amazing and we have continued to listen to the soundtrack when we clean the house each day. I promise, it makes each cleaner work twice as fast, that is, unless they get distracted dancing. 

Gideon is so much fun. I'm serious. Incredibly funny, witty, cracking jokes all the time, but old enough to know now to not draw attention to them and just wait to see if people notice. Great worker, smart as can be, fun to be around. He loves football and sports and watches them mostly with his grandpa, and throws a football with friends at every opportunity he gets. The second church is over, actually, he and his friends pull out the football and start up a game. He loves music, all kinds of styles, and plays piano well, really, really well. He has perfect pitch and has great rhythm and creativity when he improvises. He's a great big brother and loves all the funny things his younger siblings say and do. And, recently I have discovered when things don't go well for him, or a situation is not the way he likes it, he toughens up and goes through it with a smile, not letting on to anyone that he's disappointed. As if to say, "That's life, and I can't do anything about this, so I may as well go through with a smile to make the best of things." I wish his handwriting were better, and I wish he was a better speller, but he's taken it on himself this year in school to put a concerted effort into both and we've both seen the big improvement. On several occasions I have seen him praying for his sisters when he didn't know I was watching. My heart melted into a puddle. I have a feeling this boy will make many, many, people's hearts melt into a puddle throughout his lifetime. He's just that kind of a guy. I love him.

Cream Puff Fail

See those popovers in the top picture? I've made several patches lately, like, every weekend for breakfast, and they've come out perfectly. Each time, I've worried and fretted upon placing them in the oven, certain they weren't going to puff this time, and then upon gazing into the oven through the little window, discovered, to my utter joy, that no, they actually did puff!

Last week I got the notion to make cream puffs, glorious delicious cream puffs. I found a random recipe online and while I nervously watched them the same way I did the popovers, they puffed perfectly and I began to grow confident.

I checked out Comfort Foods by Jamie Oliver at the library. Remember my reading goals? Well if there's one thing I enjoy reading, it's a well written cookbook. Nigella Lawson's are my favorites. She can make anything sound delicious, even beets and carrot salads. She makes me wish I liked raisins. And, she's British. What's not to love? Jamie Oliver is fun too, though his foods are often a little strange sounding to me. Come to think of it, before this week, I don't know that I've ever cooked any of his recipes, though I've read several of his cookbooks I've gotten at the library. Comfort foods, that sounds great. British comfort foods: yes, just labeling them "British" automatically elevates the comfort level a notch.

So, I tried out his recipe for cream puffs. I made a double recipe because I was planning to print them to little afternoon tea party we were having with some friends. I pulled the batch out of the oven, and sadly, they had.not.puffed. My confidence in my ability to make puffy egg pastries waned a bit and I grew suspicious, but didn't know what to be suspicious of yet. Obviously, I had made a perfect batch last week, so what could have gone wrong this time? Maybe it was the double batch I had made. Maybe I had added an extra cup of flour in when doubling. Maybe it was the recipe...Unfortunately I hadn't followed the recipe to the letter- that could have been my problem. I have trouble following recipes to the letter. I had used water instead of the called for milk, because I had never seen a recipe for choux pastry dough before that called for milk. Well, I decided to give it another try, this time a single batch, and obey Jamie Oliver: just make a single recipe, use milk, and bake it at the suggested oven temperature, even though other recipes I'd looked at suggested a higher temp.

This time the little pastries began to puff a bit, though not as high as I would have liked, and then, when I took them out of the oven, they deflated depressingly within a minute. I tried to fill the little puffs with whipped cream still, but they would have none of it. There was nowhere for the whipped cream to go because they didn't have a big air filled cavity. Dejectedly, I realized I would have no beautiful cream puffs to take to the tea. And I still don't know what/who to blame. I'm sure another minute or two in the oven would have helped, or should I have gone with the higher temperature I've seen other chefs recommend, Alton Brown being one of them? Is it the mile above sea level that wreaked havoc on my recipe?

Instead of a photo of beautiful cream puffs, I'll leave you a picture of Pepper, instead. If ever it were possible for a dog to absorb and learn to appreciate classical music, it is she. I'm curious what it sounds like to her ears. Random noises? Is she as relieved as the rest of us when Gideon begins to learns something new on the piano?

 

Gardening with Grandpa

I love to watch my dad and Gideon plant corn together. My dad is so careful and wants a job done right; that's how he's always been. He guides Gideon's hands when the corn spills out of the packet, missing the contraption (what is that thing called?) and falling on the ground instead. 

"Now, now, you've got to be careful...you can't just...let it spill wherever," as he picks up the kernels and places them with the others.

"Now walk steady, keep the pace even, not too fast, but not too slow," and Gideon eagerly (but carefully) begins pushing it up and down the rows. He wants to do this big job right because he is growing up and adult tasks (like the planting, and mowing the lawn with the riding mower, and using the weed whacker) are beginning to be within his reach. I know he wants validation from the grown ups he admires, especially my dad.

I woke Gideon up this morning and he moaned, expecting me to tell him to start cleaning his room, or practicing piano, or beginning his math lesson. (there's no rest for the weary in this house, nope, thirty minutes of work before breakfast. Yep.)

Instead, I said, "Hurry up, Grandpa wants to plant corn first thing this morning." Upon those words he bounded out of bed in a split second and I teased him about usually pretending to be asleep when I try to get him up to start school. 

"I don't Mom, I promise!"

"I know...and I'm sure if you had to plant corn every day for five years the way you have with piano and school, you wouldn't be as eager to wake up for it, either."

"Huh? I don't know what you mean."

"It's okay, Buddy, never mind. Just go out and plant your corn."

Whenever my dad is enjoying himself, he begins to softly whistle. I always think of this when I think of my dad. He whistles when he hits a good shot on the golf course, and he whistles when he's gardening. I wonder if he learned this from his dad, a farmer. My dad grew up on a farm with seven siblings just west of here, and always talks of those memories fondly. After leaving home, I'd guess he's had a garden nearly every year of his life, an impressive, lush garden that invites you to walk through it and explore it and examine all the growing plants, eagerly trying to guess what each of them are. Weed killers and fertilizers are things he is not afraid of in the least, hah, he would rather have all the vegetables grow big and healthy and not have his labors eaten up by bugs.

My older sister is a gardener too; some years she goes all out and has a huge garden, all organic, natural fertilizers, weeding by hand, and other years she doesn't garden at all. I'm not much of a gardener. But I think at least Gideon has picked up the same urge to see things grow that my dad has. Like his grandpa, Gideon too gets caught up in the magic of placing dead, wrinkled, tiny seeds into the soil and watching them transform over the summer into a jungle of delicious food, or beautiful flowers. 

The tools are part of the appeal. There's the corn planter, which Gideon seems to have mastered under my dad's watchful eye. Gideon hasn't yet used the rototiller. But he's thrilled to ride in the tractor with my dad. I'm sure he'll soon learn to drive it. A lawn mower, a trimmer, a chain saw, anything with a motor that will get a job done to better a yard or a garden. And my dad owns plenty of that kind of thing. 

Outside- that's the favorite place for Gideon and his grandpa. Outside doing work that doesn't feel like work at all. 

Eleven Year Old Boy

My boy turned eleven yesterday. Like any mother, I remember the very first moment I laid eyes on him: tiny and new and fragile and a boy, a BOY after two precious daughters. He was born the week before Easter and his first outing was to an Easter service at church. He arrived ten days early, which felt like a month because my last baby had been 18 days late. Essentially I wasn't really expecting him to appear for another 28 days, and it was the best surprise in the world to discover how much sooner I'd be meeting him.

The day I went into labor Ben and I discussed names for the baby. If it were a girl, Lily Blue. I still love that name, Lily. Especially after seeing Lily James play the role of Cinderella absolutely beautifully when we saw the movie last night.

For boy names we picked two: Abraham Grey (to be nicknamed Abe) and Gideon Grey. I pushed for Gideon; Ben, Abe. I had a gut feeling the baby was a boy. 

Well, the minute I laid eyes on Gideon, I knew no other name would do. I just couldn't budge because the name Gideon was perfect, perfect for him. I could see it. Ben conceded to the name partly because he wanted the baby to have a name before we introduced him to people. But after just a few introductions to Gideon, and hearing the raves from other people about how much they loved his name, Ben saw exactly what I saw: Gideon was the perfect name for our boy.

Now eleven years have gone by and I've learned that the little boy, no matter what age or size he is, could wrap his sweet little soul around my heart in a way I couldn't imagine. Having grown up with two sisters, and then raising two daughters beside my sister who had two daughters the same ages as well, I just had a hard time picturing myself as the mother of a little boy. Girls, I knew what to do with them all day long. Throw glitter, lace, pink, and princess dresses at them, along with "clip-clops" (high heeled shoes) for good measure, and they're good for days.

What does one do with a boy? Well, stand back and watch and he'll let you know. Ever the conducive gentleman, Gideon will gladly play with his sisters; even help Evie put a dress on Molly, her American Girl; put on a suit and tie, especially if it's a bow tie; play piano; sit at a sewing machine.

But when the time comes that he's free to choose what to do, he'll grab his football quicker than you thought possible; grab the ball for his dog and run through the field with her out back; find every living snake and toad on the property and the dead ones, too; pour through his weapon book like it's a treasure map; construct complex architecture with legos like he's Michelangelo figuring out how to finish building the ceiling on the Sistine chapel.

Gideon told me today that he plans to become an artist, a professional piano player, and in his words "really good at math." I think those are fine goals, and they cover quite a few aspects of his personality. Smart, creative, and fun, that's Gideon. With Gideon I discovered the boy/girl equation wasn't quite the thing I'd previously thought it was. Yes, I had two girls, and yes, now I had a boy. But I found that each child was made up of much more than their gender. Each was distinctive person and personality that like the best treasure hunt in the world was daily being discovered by me and them. In a sense Gideon was the child that began to really show me what it was to be a mother. "Love me for who I am," each baby told me with their eyes when I first gazed at them. And learning who each one is has been a wonderful journey, that fortunately, won't end for a lifetime.

The picture you see here of Gideon is a familiar sight, one that we, and all our friends know extremely well by now. Piano practice, Pepper at his feet. When I think of Gideon at eleven, I'm sure a picture quite like this one will come to mind. What a blessing it is to be this wonderful boy's mother.

Of Darcy, and Jefferson, and What Makes an Accomplished Young Woman

Thomas Jefferson's schedule that I wrote about yesterday got me thinking and basically decided for me that I should stop whining about how I wish I knew how to draw and just bite the bullet and learn with my kids, something we can do for fun every day together. I am sure that little Patsy Jefferson, practicing between 1 and 3 hours a day, must have been quite the accomplished artist. Well, nothing less will do for my kids, of course. (she says facetiously). 

One of my favorite sections of Pride and Prejudice is when Elizabeth and Darcy are discussing what makes up an accomplished young woman. I'm not looking at the passage right now, but it's something like a working knowledge of a minimum of four languages, mastery of several instruments, running a household of thirty servants, sewing and embroidery skills, and ability to draw and paint to boot. Oh, dancing I'm sure is on the list as well. Lizzy tells Darcy, "With such a high standard it's a wonder any such woman even exists at all." Not an exact quote. Oh, how I love they way Austen writes; much less so the way I butcher her words. Clearly Lizzy had never met Patsy Jefferson, though an educated man like Darcy may have, and perhaps she was the inspiration for his list of accomplishments.

Well, my children will never know Latin, at least not if any effort on my behalf is necessary to make it happen, nor am I putting much emphasis on foreign languages in general. Since they, and I, have a limited amount of time every day, namely 24 hours, just like everybody else, I have decided to pick my battles. They're not battles, of course, but rather selective choosing of what abilities will benefit them the most for the rest of their life. The main extracurricular activity I (we)'ve chosen is music, at least one of the items on Darcy's list of things that make up an accomplished young woman. Well, I suppose now we can one day add drawing to that list of accomplishments, if Gideon and I can stick with it. The second picture is our test drawing, sort of a before and after picture that we're supposed to draw so we can see the great leaps of improvement we make over the next thirty days. You can probably tell that my son is already vastly outshining me before we have even gotten started, but I'm determined that drawing daily I, and we, will. I hope Darcy and Jefferson would, were they so able, look upon me and the way I am raising my children and not think I am a total clod. Oh, dear, clod. I'm certain Jane Austen would never use such a clunky word.

Our "Thomas Jefferson Education"

I happened upon this cozy scene this afternoon when I was trying to figure out just where and if my older children were doing school. Of course, in Cate and Grace's little attic room. It's chilly out today and there are still screens in place of window glass so the blankets were a necessity.

The final photo is from Gideon's book he's reading about Thomas Jefferson (or Tommy Jeff, as Gideon and I like to call him. Don't ask.). Considering A Thomas Jefferson Education is probably my favorite home schooling book that best describes my educational philosophy (but isn't a perfect depiction because I stray from it where I feel I should), I was quite interested in reading what Jefferson considered a suitable way to learn each day. 

In case you are having trouble reading it, he says to his daughter Patsy:

"From 8 to 10 o'clock practice music

From 10 to 1 dance one day and draw another

From 1 to 2 draw on the day you dance and write a letter the next day

From 3-4 practice French

From 4-5 exercise yourself in music

From 5 till bedtime read english, write, etc."

I find his emphasis on drawing and music interesting. One would assume the schedule would be filled from dawn till dusk with language lessons, sentence diagramming, Latin and the seemingly (to me)  boring like.  I asked my kids how they liked the schedule and they said it sounded too rigorous going without a break from 8 till bedtime. Our schedule is more like:

7-10 practice music (juggling 4 kids on 3 pianos ensures everyone gets more or less 2 hours of practice time)

10-12 math lesson,

12-2 reading, and sewing after that for Cate and Grace.

Writing happens most days as well.

Oh, we eat lunch, too, actually.

Evie is doing a more formal reading and writing lesson, and I am happy to reinvent the schedule if a project comes up that I think the children would get a lot out of, so our days don't quite look exactly like that, but you get the general rough, very rough, idea. And of course everything takes much longer than it should on paper so somehow this schedule doesn't get done till around 4 or 5 most days. Maybe I can cram an hour to draw in there. Wouldn't that be nice.

I think it's funny how Jefferson wrote to his daughter, "Learning will render you more worthy of my love." Not quite the general philosophy of our day, is it? Hahaha. I hope when my children read statements like that, as well as finding out about Patsy's recommended educational schedule, it will remind them that I am a very very very nice mommy.

Sweater plan

I started it. No ,I didn't design my own pattern this time; this is Wyatt, and yes, the texture is that wonderful and squishy in real life. I am so glad I chose this pattern. The stitch count, ribbing and welt pattern line up like a dream. It's that feeling you get when doing a long division problem in math and it comes out perfectly with no remainder. Ah, beautiful. The stitches just fit, and flow perfectly from one row to the next. No thinking, but no boredom either. Furthermore, since it calls for worsted weight yarn, this is going (as you may be able to tell) as quick as can be. I have come up with a makeshift knitting goal for the year- we'll see how I do, but I'd love for each child to get a sweater for his or her birthday. Cate, the hardest, since she is justifiably more picky than the younger kids, and wears the largest sweater, is already done. She got Jess, albeit a little early. Evie's sweater is started, and Gideon's is off to a roaring start. That leaves, Jude, in May, and I'd love to knit a second Wyatt for him, so he could match Gideon. I mean, I may not be singing the praises of Wyatt by that time, and be bored to death of it, but that's the plan for now. That leaves Clemmie, in August, and you know she's getting a birthday sweater. That's already a given. Then I'll get a few months off till December, when I have Grace- though she did get a drapey cardigan last week so I can always count that if I need to, and finally Truman, another fairly quick knit. Like the plan? I do, but I'm only one sweater into it. We'll see how I feel sometime in May.

Goals

My goals for the week:

1. Being patient with the children. I lost my temper way too many times yesterday. Clementine decided on Saturday that the only person she wants to hold her is me, even first thing in the morning when she is normally the happiest, friendliest baby ever. Not anymore, it seems. Today this made my day so difficult that I found myself getting upset and frustrated at everyone. I just didn't have the patience to kindly respond to those who needed me, and having to explain concepts to Evie for the millionth time nearly did me in. I don't think I'm normally grumpy or easily upset but today was rough. I'm regretting my juvenile behavior while I sit down and think about how yesterday went. I'm pretty ashamed of myself, and apologized to the kids. When you mess up, the best thing to do is to apologize. So, yeah, I'm going to try very hard to be a patient mommy this week.

2. Read Jude and Truman Bible stories every day. They love when I read to them. They, and I, especially enjoy the Arch Books, which are Bible stories with great illustrations that rhyme. Jude's into rhymes lately. So. Cute. Like Dr. Seuss, he doesn't care if the rhymes are actually real words, like "Boba Fett had to go to a rhett! That rhymes, Mom!" Yes, my darling, it sure does. Anyway, I want to consistently read Bible stories to the boys everyday, and the Arch books make it so easy and fun.

3. Make it to the library. Return the stinking overdue books and try for a better track record this week. I love the library but it can sure be hard to get there as often as I should. I used to want to be a librarian so bad. I wanted to gently steer children toward my favorite reading selections and help them discover new and exciting authors. Nothing cozier sounding than a librarian, is there? I used to go weekly, or even twice weekly, when I'd take Cate and Grace to story times. Back in the day of two young toddlers and hours upon hours of extra time that filled our days. Not anymore. Must make it to the library this week.

4. Clean out a closet, or two. I don't really want to think about this but I'm going to be good and just write it down.

5. Learn to draw. All of a sudden I wish I was an artist and could take pen to paper and create wonderful art. Paint, draw, computer graphics, I don't care what medium- all of a sudden it sounds like so much fun. When I was little I wanted to be an artist, too. I figured as I got older I'd be able to instinctively know how to draw well. But, sadly, that gift didn't just float down to me from heaven. How fun though, if the kids and I went through the Learn to Draw in 30 Days book we have. It sounds so fun and relaxing.

6. Continue knitting Evie's birthday sweater. I can say continue because I have knit an inch on it so far. So, at least it's started. I need this done by April 9th. While we're on the subject, I'd love to sew her a dress or skirt as well.

7. As long as I'm listing goals, I may as well put down, "design and begin Gideon's birthday sweater", because I'd love to make one for his birthday as well. Yes, it's a little lofty of a goal considering his birthday is coming up quicker than Evie's, March 31st. And I haven't even figured out what sweater to make him, and thus figured I may as well design one for him. Like I said, it's a lofty goal... but that's the point of a list of goals: you're supposed to aim high so at least you go somewhere. 

8. Blog every day. Somehow I've been falling from 5 posts a week down to four. And, I do think four is a pretty reasonable number, but I prefer the feeling of the flow of blogging daily. It keeps my mind more active somehow. And, I've already missed Monday so I need to for sure get the rest of the week in. I'll have to work on that!

9. Oh, dear, I almost forgot number 9, when it's sort of the point of my blog post. I need to get this in writing: NO SUGAR this week. I just feel like I need to cut the sugar out.Except for in coffee, I suppose. But I think I will buy coconut sugar and not even use sugar for that. Once I can get to Whole Foods to buy it. But that might be a goal for another week. 

I'm keeping it simple and leaving my list of goals at that. I hope I can accomplish at least a few of them!

Gideon's Concert

Somehow, we braved a big snowstorm to make it to Gideon's concert. My boy did such a great job. I was so proud of him. I was nervous, like always. I knew Gideon knew the piece forward and backward, literally, forward and backward. I can ask him to play any section of the piece, within four measures, and he can play that exact section for me with barely a thought. So I knew his memory was solid, but when playing with other instruments, just a beat missed can throw the entire thing off. I just wanted the experience to be a great one for Gideon, and not have him scared by messing up an important performance. There was one particular section that we labelled section G that he had gotten mixed up at the rehearsal the night before, something he'd never done before. As a result I kind of panicked and wanted him to play it over and over again so he could be sure to not mess that part up for the performance. On the other hand, I didn't want to make a big deal out of it and call his attention to it so much that his mind would kind of go blank and freak him out when he got to it during the concert. And he kept telling me, "Mom, I'm good!" So I decided to believe him and left it at that.

Before the concert he seemed totally relaxed and not a bit nervous, and he walked on stage as cool as could be. The minute he began to play I realized he was fully alert and in control and so I was able to relax a tiny bit as well and start to enjoy the music. He really did such a great job. He missed maybe a handful of notes but never got stuck or lost a beat for an instant and instead seemed really fueled by the orchestra and his piece never sounded better. It is probably the first piece he has played that he truly loves, and it was wonderful to get to watch him perform it so well with an orchestra. When he was about halfway through I realized he was having just a fantastic time and that was so much fun to see. 

Afterwards he seemed even more excited than he was before the performance. This was an experience I know he will never forget. Memorable in so many ways, and I'm glad the snow didn't keep us from getting to the concert, though I really wish that it could have been cancelled and rescheduled for a warmer day. Despite the inclement weather, it was still pretty close to a perfect day. I couldn't be more proud of Gideon. There is no doubt he worked harder for this competition than on any piano piece he's played before, and I'm just so thrilled that the hard work paid off.