life of seven

Encouragement for weary moms

Do you need any of that today? If there's one thing I find myself needing to get through the day in and day out, it's that.

Here are some scriptures I have been thinking about recently: "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me," from Psalm 23, or Isaiah 43:2, "When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee." Romans 8:35 "Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?"

The connection I'm seeing with all these verses is that in the midst of our trial and tribulations and fears and difficulties, God is always there. He never leaves us. He doesn't always take our trials away. We still have to live our lives and face the struggles that come with it. But in the midst of it all, He tells us, "I see you."

Recently I was praying and I felt God's presence come so near to me. I had been going through what had felt like a dry spell, where prayer and Bible reading didn't feel like they were as full of life as they had been in the past. While worshipping God, as tears streamed down my cheeks, I told Him a bit desperately, "Don't leave me alone again after this. Please don't ever leave me!"

Instantly these words poured into my heart, "I will never leave you, or forsake you."

"When the poor and needy seek water and there is none, and their tongue faileth for thirst, I the Lord will hear them, I the God of Israel will not forsake them." (Isaiah 41:17)

"For the mountains shall depart, and the hills be removed; but my kindness shall not depart from Thee." (Isaiah 54:10)

"Lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world." (Matthew 28:20)

It's hard to put these things into words. But it means SO MUCH to realize that even while we are going through hardships, even when we go through dry spells, even when God feels far off, that He is always there, that He is our help. Because, honestly, if you asked any mom for the number one thing she needed, wouldn't she say, "I just need some HELP around here!"

It's not like the bills and dirty dishes and mess are going to miraculously go away just because I know God is with me. But that's not the kind of help I need, or want. (Sure, I will never turn that kind of help down!) What I need is to know that I have God with me. That He sees my struggles. That my life matters to Him. That He loves me. That He wants me to succeed at the job He's given me. That He'll give me wisdom in those thousand decisions a day that I'm faced with. That I need to keep running my race to the finish line, and He can't run the race for me, but can give me the endurance I need to finish strong.

"Hast thou not known? Hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary?" (Isaiah 40:28) Oh, thank the Lord for that. If there's anything my weary bones need, it is an everlasting God who never grows weary.

"He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength." (v. 29) That verse seems to hold an especially powerful meaning and beauty to a mom.Think about it. Power to the faint. Strength to the weak.

"Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall." (I think this verse is saying, "Don't worry, Mama, even that relentlessly fussy baby; and crazy, bouncing, energetic toddler; and wild and dangerous six year old boy are eventually going to need rest and will, though it may seem otherwise, eventually fall asleep. Fear not!")

"But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint." (v 30, 31)

So don't faint. Don't grow weary. Don't quit. God the Helper, God the Provider, God our strength will never leave us. He will never forsake us. We can do this thing.

 

The small things

Years ago, when I had just three kids, and Gideon was a baby, my husband and I started a small church. Small is a very good word to describe it, which is why I'm using that word. Just a few young families and a couple of single people.

Everything in my life at the time felt small. Small children, and long, long days filled with small activities and small conversations. At times I would feel like pulling my hair out, being around so much small-ness. I had much bigger dreams and ideas and thoughts than what my very young children could think at the time.

When we started our church I felt like finally I could begin to do something significant. I wanted to do "ministry", whatever that was or looked like. I loved God and wanted to give Him my very best. I wanted to serve Him to show Him that I loved Him.

Well, as I said, our church started out very small. After a few months I began to realize that it wasn't all of a sudden going to expand with hundreds of people. No, there were just a few, and they became very, very close friends of ours, and I loved them. It kind of felt like how I loved my children- I loved them with all my heart, but is this what my life was going to look like for the next twenty years? Was this all there was to it?

I wanted to do something big for God. I wanted to reach hundreds, or thousands of people. I wanted to do something more significant than going out to coffee with my friend who had just become a mom and needed advice and encouragement on raising her baby boy. I loved our church, but I wanted to do more than just forge friendships with families who'd stay over till well past midnight, talking and asking questions and learning more about God. I wanted to do more during the day than taking my kids to the park, and to story times at the library during the week because it kept them so entertained, and endlessly helping my girls in and out of princess dresses.

I didn't know what the solution was, and in many ways, I don't think I really wanted a solution, since I would have never given my job as mother away to anyone in the world, and I wouldn't trade my church and the wonderful people in it for the world, either. But I wondered if God must think I was wasting my life doing so many small things that didn't really matter or add up to much.

One night I knelt down and began praying, and it was one of those sobbing prayers where you pour out your heart and what you are saying probably doesn't even make a whole lot of sense.

I told God, "I love you! I feel like I'm doing everything you ask me to, but look at my life. It's nothing special. I'm not reaching or effecting very many people. All my time is used up pushing babies in strollers and sounding out words and making meals. Our church is so small and I've been faithful with what I feel you've asked me to do. I've sought you and I've prayed and I know you are in my life, and I feel you in this church, and I'm thankful for what we have, but is this all there is going to be? Is there never going to be a something big? Is my life never going to add up to more than what there is right here, right now? Am I missing something? Is there something you've called Ben and me to do that we've missed? I've followed where I've felt you've led me, but look around- is this all there is? Am I wasting my life? Are you wasting my life?"

Then I heard God's voice interrupt my ramblings, and this is what He said:

"I know that you love me."

Truly, if that was all He said, that would have been enough. "I know that you love me."

God saw me. He knew I loved Him.

But that's not all that He said.

"I know that you love me. I know you want to serve me. I know that you are doing what I've asked you to do. It doesn't matter how the things you do look like from the outside, even if they seem so small and insignificant. All I ask is for you to obey me. I've given you a family, and this church, little as they are, and you've been faithful to me with what I've given you. If all your life amounted to was being poured out and seemingly wasted like the woman who bought the bottle of perfume and poured it all out on my feet, wouldn't that be enough for you? You told me you wanted to serve me, no matter what I asked. As long as you're obeying me, then it shouldn't matter how significant that service looks like to you, or anyone else. What is it to you, what these other big, impressive ministries seem to be doing? These people who look like they're going places and doing big things? You follow me. Just be faithful with what I've asked you to do. I know that you love me. I know you want to obey me. Don't be discontent with where I've led you. I see you. I know you. Your life isn't being wasted, as long as you are serving me."

I've never forgotten what God spoke to my heart that night. I'm sure you want to hear the end of the story, about where God took the church, and how it grew into something greater than what it started out as; about how thankful I am to be reaping the fruits of what I sowed in my kids, as they got older, after all those long, long days that I invested into their lives with stories and swimming and walks and games and prayers.

But what is that to you? 

What is it to you if God called me to one thing, and you to something else? What is it to you if I have a very loud, large family, and you are unmarried and living and working and serving God on your own? What is it to you if I have older kids who are no longer whiny and needy and take up every waking moment of my day, and you have two toddlers and a three month old who won't let you sleep at night? When Peter asked Jesus about the plans He had for John, Jesus replied to him, "If I will that he tarry till I come, what is that to thee? You follow me."

God sees you. God gave you a job to do, and all He asks is that you be faithful to do it. If you are obeying Him, then your life is not wasted. Yes, I know there are orphans and impoverished nations, and war torn countries. If we saw all the need and hurt and pain people suffer every day in every nook and cranny of this world we wouldn't be able to bear it, much less continue to believe that the small tasks we have been given even count for anything. But when the disciples criticized Mary for wasting such expensive ointment by pouring it out on Jesus's feet instead of selling it and giving it to the cause of the poor, Jesus rebuked them saying "The poor you will have with you always. But me you have not always." The fact is, if you gave away every last possession you owned, and if you spent every drop of energy and time that you have, you still wouldn't possibly be able to make a dent in righting all the wrongs that plague the human race. You were never called to be the savior of the world - that job is already taken. But you have been called to make a difference. And we are all best equipped to make a difference where we are, not where we wish we were. The important thing is not to serve all of the "big" and pressing needs of humanity (like the disciples thought), but to always, everywhere, and in everything serve Christ - even in the things that seem small and inconsequential. This is what we have been called to do.

"And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him... And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men; Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ." Col 3:17, 23-24

"And whosoever shall give to drink unto one of these little ones a cup of cold water only in the name of a disciple, verily I say unto you, he shall in no wise lose his reward." Mat 10:42

God sees the needs of the world, and God sees you. God sees what you think is your small, insignificant little life. He sees those squabbling toddlers, the mundane job you work at, the friendships you've forged. He sees where you've given to others when needs have risen. He sees the times you cooked dinner for your friend who was sick, where you baby sat her kids when her husband was in the hospital, where you gave money to a family who was between jobs. Yes, He sees the many, many times you've gotten up in the middle of the night to give your child a drink of water. He says, "I know that you love me." 

"There came a woman having an alabaster box of ointment of spikenard very precious; and she brake the box, and poured it on his head. And there were some that had indignation within themselves, and said, Why was this waste of the ointment made? For it might have been sold for more than three hundred pence, and have been given to the poor. And they murmured against her. And Jesus said, Let her alone; why trouble ye her? she hath wrought a good work on me." Mark 14:3-6

Please don't be troubled, or let anyone else trouble you, because you aren't able to live on the mission field, because you can't stop Isis, can't fix the refugee problem, or can't cure cancer. Do the good work God gave you, whether that's your little kids, your tiny church, your simple and small life. God is famous for choosing small people to perform His mightiest works. That woman with the ointment? Scorned by the disciples for wasting what she had on Jesus? Two thousand years later, we are still talking about her, just like Jesus said we would. 

"Verily I say unto you, Wheresoever this gospel shall be preached throughout the whole world, this also that she hath done shall be spoken of for a memorial of her." Mark 14:9

Not so small after all.

On Loving my Children

I am going to attempt to describe to you the love I have for my children .

The moment I laid eyes on my oldest, Cate, and she made me a mother, I knew I would do anything, absolutely anything for her. That feeling did not alleviate or lessen with time or with subsequent children being born. No, it only grew stronger and more intense, as the time and energy and love that I invested into each one of my children grew greater and greater.

It takes a whole lot of love to suffer through the first three months of pregnancy. Even if you don't suffer morning sickness, I discovered. With Truman I did not have any nausea. I thought I was going to get off pretty easy the first trimester, when I realized I wasn't getting sick each day. Well, I didn't know that there is apparently some sort of trade-off that happens to moms who don't get morning sickness in the first three months. Instead of feeling nauseous morning to night, I was hit with a tidal wave emotion unlike any I have experienced in my entire life. Even now when I look back and remember those three months I shudder and thank God that I somehow made it through it. Everything seemed wrong and nothing made sense. I felt numb to everything and at the same time cried about everything. It was a nightmare. Yes, I made it through that trimester without being sick to my stomach but I definitely paid for it in another way.

Similarly, that's how the first trimester of my pregnancy with Clementine went, as well, only instead of paying emotionally rather than nauseating-ly, I paid for it with insomnia. No, I didn't feel sick with Clementine, either, but for three solid months I would wake up at night, after sleeping for a few hours, absolutely wide awake, as awake as it is possible for a first trimester mom to be. It felt like the middle of the day and I learned after a few nights of this that I would not be going back to sleep for hours and hours. Yes, every night, from about one until five A.M. for close to 14 weeks I lay in bed wide, wide awake. Doesn't sound so bad, right? Well, the infamous first trimester exhaustion had not left me, even though the nausea did. Somehow I still had the need to sleep at least 10 hours every 24, and I had to make up for those hours at some point other than the middle of the night, when normal humans sleep. I craved sleep during the day as much as I've craved anything in my life, and yet, when night came I found it absolutely impossible to sleep. Again, looking back on it, I don't know that the trimester of insomnia was any better than the trimester of being sick at the sight or thought of food or the smelling thereof.

And you know what comes next, right? After the morning sickness, at the end of pregnancy? Birth! I made the personal decision, for a variety of reasons, to not take any pain meds while in labor. Cate was born naturally in the hospital, and the rest were born at home. I don't need to describe that process for you. But there are absolutely no words to compare to the joy of seeing a brand new healthy squealing baby after a night that seemed would never end. A night where afterward, with overwhelming love, you whisper to your child, "I would do that ten times over for you", while thinking, Thank God I don't have to.

The relief when pregnancy and labor is over with and you can move on from that segment of your life is indescribable. And, naively, with Cate, I thought, "Thank God the hard part- the worry, the fear, the work, the pain- is over." 

No. No, no, no, no, no, it is very much not over. In fact it has not even begun. Pregnancy and labor and delivery were only my entry ticket so that I could walk through the door into motherhood. 

The intense love, and sleeplessness, and exhaustion, and emotion, are only just beginning. How in the world is it possible to love a baby so much that you had never seen before, while still feeling frustration and astonishment and amazement at how much this little one needs you, trusts you, depends on you, would not survive a day without your constant vigilance and care? It's a pendulum of overwhelming emotion that goes from one extreme to the next. Nursing that baby and feeling a love you had no idea existed, while being terrified that something could harm it, being spent to your very bone and what I call "touched out" where there is so much contact holding the baby 24 hours a day that even a hug from someone else feels like sensory overload.

How I cherished every single one of my babies. How I stood back in amazement and pride as they grew and learned. How does this miracle happen every single day, around the world? How have billions of women survived this common thing? How can it be common? “Babies are never common,” said Anne of Green Gables, followed by Marilla quoting, "Every baby is the sweetest and the best."

My heart melted with pride when each learned to call me "Mama." You're only a few months old, you haven't lived on this earth for even a year, and you already know I'm your Mama? How can this be? How can you know what a mama even is, and yet that is the very first thing your little mind learned. You and me, little one, we need each other, we are dependent on each other, we will never be apart.

Do you remember your first trip to the grocery store without the baby along? Freedom! It feels amazing! But, I feel naked without the baby clinging to me. Is she okay? Is she crying right now? Is she needing to eat and I'm not there for her? Let me modify my grocery list in half so I can be out of there in 15 minutes. I thought I wanted time to myself, but I don't- I want her. I need that little baby as much as she needs me.

Down through the years, the love grows, where it is not as emotionally intense, an up and down roller coaster ride, but gets deeper, and deeper, and deeper, as every one of your child's accomplishments become your own. You hear the words to "Wind Beneath my Wings" and you can't do anything but cry, because now that you are a mom, you understand it, how true it is. Now the thing that brings you some of your greatest joys is watching your child succeed. Walking across the room. Talking. Riding a bike. Learning to read. Saying the times tables. Hitting a baseball. Playing piano. Winning a competition. Hearing others speak highly of her. Hearing her pray. Following a recipe. Showing compassion to others. Helping without being told. Doing things you never dreamed she would do when you first met her and you held her in your arms and she looked at you and her eyes said, "I need you- I need you if I'm going to be anything, if I'm going to learn anything, become anything, do anything. I need you."

Let me ask you- after putting all this work and love and time and joy and hope and energy and effort and delight into my children, would I ever, in a million, billion years, abandon them halfway through and leave them to raise themselves the rest of the way? Would I ever tell them, "Forget it, I'm pretty tired of this job, and I'm done with you" ?

Never! Never in a thousand years.

Do you remember what Jesus said? "If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask Him?"

If you are like me, at one point or another you’ve become discouraged in your walk with Jesus Christ. At some time you experienced fear and doubt and felt abandoned and alone. You’ve stood in the shadows of guilt wondering how God could ever love you and questioning if He is even still with you after all the stupid things you’ve done. Well, let me tell you - if God traded Heaven for Earth, leaving strength and riches to become poor and weak; If He humbled Himself and took on flesh and bone to walk in our shoes; and if He then humbled Himself further by submitting to death on a cross; if He suffered all of this – laboring to bring you to life – straining unto death that you could be born again - I promise you, as someone who has been through the grief and joy of childbirth - I promise you that after He has suffered all of this and moved Heaven, Earth and Hell to make you His child - He is not about to give you up at the first inconvenience or bump in the road. He will never just abandon you out in the cold, to make it all on your own.

It is a lie.

Listen to God’s words:

"He that spared not His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not also freely give us all things?" Romans 8:31,32

"Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:" Phillipians 1:6

"What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?" Romans 8:31

"Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith;" Hebrews 12:2

I know we all go through times of discouragement. Where we wonder if God still loves us, where we fear that we are all on our own.

No, no, no, a thousand times no! Jesus said, "I will never leave you or forsake you. I am with you always, even unto the very end of the age."

Jesus is the Master Builder and no master builder would spend weeks, months, and years designing and building a house, only to abandon it halfway through, leaving it neglected and on its own against the elements.

God will finish what He started in you. Stay the course. Don't give up the fight. Don't be discouraged. If God is for you, who can possibly be against you? Don't give up. Don't quit. Stay in that race. Jesus has already done the work. He's already paid the price. He's already won the victory. You are His child, and He wants you. Though your enemies seem undefeatable, He has already vanquished them.

Now, I am not a very big person, I am not even 5'2" and I don't weigh much over 100 pounds. But I’m telling you that if my children were ever in any type of danger or threatened in any way, I wouldn't stop for even an instant to think about my well-being or whether I even stood a chance in the fight, and I would give every drop of blood in my body, if necessary, to save them. My own survival wouldn't even enter my head.

Listen. Your Father came to save you. And He came to save you at any cost.

“Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame.”Heb 12:2

He went down into death to save you from every one of your enemies. He paid the price with his life's blood so that He could place every one of them under your feet. He endured the cross for the joy that was set before Him and you - you were that joy. When I was in the hospital, laboring to bring Cate into the world, I heard the brand new cry of a newborn in the next room, and despite the work and the pain I was in, somehow the sound was able to bring a smile to my face in that moment like nothing else could. That baby's cry reminded that soon my labor would end and I would have a baby in my arms with her own precious cry. Listen: When Jesus hung, tortured and dying on the cross, He was thinking of you.

"Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?"

"Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him that loved us." Romans 8:35,37

God's gonna finish what He started. He's going to see you through to the end. He's going to complete His work in you. He's going to make you perfect.

Yes, I said, "perfect." It's a scary word, but it's in the Bible.

"Till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ."Ephesians 4:13

"Whom we preach, warning every man, and teaching every man in all wisdom, that we may present every man perfect in Jesus Christ." Colossians 1:28

"That the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works." 2 Timothy 3:17

"Making you perfect in every good work to do his will" Hebrews 13:21

"But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing."James 1:4

"But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, establish, strengthen, settle you."1 Peter 5:10

I don't understand how it all works out. I know that I am far, very, very, far, from being perfect, but each day God does something new in me and brings me closer to being "perfect and entire, wanting nothing." Wanting nothing? Nothing? Not lacking in peace? Not lacking in love? Not lacking in joy? Not living in fear, or as a slave to sin or worry, anger, or depression? That sounds really good to me. If I could give my children these good things, I would do it without hesitation. And if I being evil would give these good gifts to my children, how much more does my Heavenly Father want to give them to me? He died to give me this gift, and He wants me to receive everything He purchased with His life.

This is the truth that is the rock at the very foundation of my life. I believe it to my very core, and I don’t doubt it any more than I doubt my love for my children.

God is able. He. Is. Able. And God is not giving up on me until He finishes what He started. He authored my faith many years ago, back when I was ten and called to Him and asked Him to save me. That day, He called me by name and made me His child, and He will never, never, ever give up on me. His love will never stop. His provision will never end. He is the Author, and one day He will be the Finisher of my faith.

As much as I would never abandon my new little baby girl that I spent nine months growing and the most agonizing hours of my life delivering, God won't abandon a single one of His children. 

As much as I wouldn't ignore the cries of my brand new little baby, God will not ignore the cries of a hungry heart seeking Him.

As much as I would never tell my child, "I'm done with you- you go figure life out on your own," God will never leave you to try to navigate through life on your own.

He is for you. He is with you. To the very end.

"For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:38,39

Words that perhaps only a mother could fully understand.

Apples of Gold

My post a couple weeks back generated quite a bit of response on here and among my real life friends. (Hey, guys- thanks for reading!)

I know writing about morning devotionals isn't an original concept in the least, but I am glad it resonated with some of you, as it did for me. I've been thinking about it a lot, still, since then, and a couple of questions have come up because of it. One thing I have been asked, by my sixteen year old daughter, for one, as well as by others, is "Where do I start?"

If you have ever picked up a Bible and flipped through it, it only takes moments to feel a little overwhelmed and hopeless. So much in it, much of it so confusing, so many ideas and doctrines, so much allegory and poetry, so much prophecy, and so, so many pages and words. Where to begin?

As my kids have gotten older and begun reading the Bible on their own, this question comes into my mind more and more. I know there are many, many ways to approach scripture and the study of it, but I want to give you some of my ideas, whether you are a new Christian; have teens who are beginning to study the Bible; don't feel like you know God's Word like you should; or for anyone in general who may be interested in my approach to reading and studying the Bible.

To begin with, Cate and Grace have adopted a simple habit over the last year or two that they came up with all on their own,  that I think is an excellent place for anyone to start. During every sermon or Bible study, they write down every single scripture reference in their notebooks and then look them up during the week. This is helpful on many levels.

First of all, looking up so many scriptures gives them familiarity with the geography of the Bible itself. The Old and New Testaments. Where the Gospels are. What comes before Psalms, you get the idea. The more they flip through the Bible and look up scriptures the less intimidating it feels. It's such a great way to get to know the Bible.

Second, when the girls look up each scripture that was used in a sermon and read it for themselves later, it helps teach them about study and interpretation. Why was that verse used to teach that concept? How was it applied? Sometimes they don't remember. Over time, though, it sharpens their minds and over all causes them to pay more attention at church, too.

Finally, of course, going and looking up scriptures each week and reading them in their context helps them learn those verses, even if they aren't memorized. Hearing a scripture preached on then to look it up and study it is a great way to cement what that verse says in a natural and organic way.

This brings me to scripture memorization. You know, this isn't something that Ben and I really push or promote with our kids. Yes, we do own a number of kid's songs that are scriptures put to music, and I promise that is the absolute easiest and most mindless way to memorize verses without even realizing what you are doing, but beyond that it is not a huge emphasis for us. Our goal is for our kids to love the Bible, and to find it the most interesting, fascinating book in the world. We read them lots of Bible stories, have them read through The Picture Bible many, many, times (it truly is a great book to give an overview of every single story in the Bible), have lots and lots of questions and discussions about the Bible, and finally, hopefully, when they get older, their imaginations are sparked and their curiosity is aroused, and they begin to read the Bible for themselves. I don't want them to think of God's Word as school, or a chore, which is why I do not push them to memorize scriptures. What I want is for them to love the Bible. If you love God's Word and meditate on it often, memorizing it will happen on its own.

That's all well and good, but how should you read the Bible, if you haven't really done it much before and don't really know where to start?

 2 Timothy 2:15 says, "Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth."  Therefore, a great way to approach the Bible is to study it, and the easiest way to do this is by topic. 

For a very user friendly study Bible that references key words and helps you find scriptures that say similar things, I highly recommend the Thompson Chain. It's been my favorite Bible since I was 16. Grace loves it as well. If you are beginning to study ideas and doctrine, it makes the job so much easier. It is a great tool because it organizes scripture by subject, and in the margins lists where the next scripture on that particular subject can be found. For instance, I was reading scriptures on meditating on God's word that inspired me to write this blog post. Ps 119, "Oh how I love Thy law! It is my meditation all the day." In the margin is a reference to the next scripture on meditation- 119:148: "Mine eyes prevent the night watches, that I might meditate in they word." Next reference to meditation is Psalm 143:5. You get the idea. If you decide to purchase this Bible, I don't recommend the Handy size because the pages are pretty crowded. The Regular size is much easier to read.

And, of course, there is Blue Letter Bible, a free handy website that looks up any verse by key word, reference, whatever. I use it all the time. There is a great Blue Letter Bible app for your iPhone.

Another way of learning the Bible is meditation.

"This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success." Joshua 1:8

The idea of meditation on scripture is an important one. How do I meditate on scripture? In general, some Bible verse or idea will lodge itself in my mind, whether when I pray, or during a sermon, or while reading the Bible. I think about this verse. I look up other verses that say a similar thing, whether using the Thompson Chain (here it is free online) as a tool, or Blue Letter Bible. I think about it some more. I talk about it with friends. I read other chapters in the Bible in light of the idea. I talk about it more. Pray about it more. Read it again in the Bible. The more these things are thought on, and discussed, then thought on some more, the more solid they become in my mind. The Bible says to encourage one another in the faith, and to forsake not the assembling of ourselves together, and if you have Christian friends, discussing what you are thinking about and studying can be one of the most invaluable tools to gain a deeper understanding of God's Word that you have at your disposal. Having a friend as a sounding board for the scriptures you are thinking about will inevitably lend perspective that you might have never found on your own. You guys, I do this All. The. Time. Discussing the Bible with others has been one of the most important elements of my life as a Christian. I could not begin to describe what an impact this has had on my life over the years. If you  haven't discussed the Bible with friends much before, I encourage you to start doing it now. "A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver." Proverbs 25:11. So very, very true. Conversations about the Bible with my friends are akin to discovering a gold mine. 

Finally, maybe you don't have a friend to encourage you or discuss the Bible with, or maybe I am your friend, whether in real life or through this blog. Well, then, I will put here a list of some of my favorite chapters and books that I feel are a great place to begin reading the Bible to help you get started. Many of these chapters I've read hundreds of times, and, of course, since all scripture is profitable, this list is not an exhaustive one. They're just a good beginning.

First, I recommend reading either one or all four of the gospels- Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. Perhaps start with Mark, though I love John.

The following are favorite chapters that are easily read in a day:

Psalm 119 is about God's word and how important it is to learn, and know and meditate on. If you want to inspiration to study the word of God, this is the first chapter you should read, and study.

John 4, 14, 15, and 16 are favorite chapters.

The book of Acts, especially 1-5.

The book of Romans, particularly 6, 7, and 8.

I Corinthians 12, 13, and 14.

The book of Galatians, pay attention to chapter 5.

Ephesians is a favorite book of many. I especially love chapters 1 and 2.

Phillipians and Colossians are each easily read in a day.

I love Paul's words to Timothy in the first chapter of both I and II Timothy.

Hebrews is an amazing book, but very deep and can be overwhelming. Hebrews 11, 12, and 13 are great chapters to start with.

James has lots of practical advice.

I and II Peter are excellent. I love I Peter 1-3.

I have read I John many, many times.

Revelation can be an overwhelming book, but the first three chapters are a great place to start.

You could spend your entire life of Bible reading in the book of Psalms alone, and I have many, many favorites. I love Psalm 1, 37, 46, 51, 91, 119, whatever, you get the idea. The entire book is encouraging and easy to read.

The first 8 chapters of Proverbs, Proverbs 31.

Isaiah 12, 53, 55-66.

Job 38-42.

Ecclesiastes is a great one to read all the way through in one sitting.

A.W. Tozer once said that Deuteronomy was the most spiritual book in the Bible. It may surprise you when you read it- it may not be what you think.

Jeremiah 18, Ezekiel 18.

Okay, you get the idea. I think this is a good starting place and from there, I do believe you will have become familiar enough with God's Word to be able to find favorites of your own.

I hope you find these ideas helpful, whether for yourself, or for your kids who are beginning to approach the Bible themselves. Feel free to ask any questions in the comments section.

The Best of My Days

I have a confession to make. For the past few years, Bible reading- that wasn't just stuck randomly into the cracks of life- has been a real struggle for me. When Cate and Grace were little, and I had long, long days at home with no car, and hours to try to fill, it was not difficult to spend time with God each day. It was usually during the kids' nap time that I read dozens of Christian books, journaled all the time, read and studied the Bible, and prayed; and during those endless days at home I made a conscious effort to make sure I was teaching my girls about Jesus, too. By the way, I used the same materials for them then that I still use now- if you're curious, our favorites, among others, are: reading The Picture Bible, Arch Books and My Bible Friends; listening to Your Story Hour, Adventures in Odyssey, and Agapeland Music; and watching The Donut Man  and Nest Bible Videos.

Anyway, I didn't realize then that the day would soon come when I would not be able to remember the last time I was bored. I think it was around the time that Evie, my fourth child, was born, that I became really, really busy. Busy with the most wonderful things, because I began homeschooling Cate and Grace in earnest, my husband and I began to lead a small church, and we began to forge lifelong friendships with a couple of other families. With each passing day I began to love my life more and more and began to realize that killing time, so to speak, was becoming an activity of the past. Every night I'd get in bed and wonder where in the world the day had gone.

Oh, how I love to be busy. I love having our friends (I'd say company, but that's just too fancy of a word for what it is) over a few nights a week and the church activities that we go to that take up another three nights. I love my time with the kids during the day- monitoring schoolwork and piano practice, driving them to lessons while listening to the latest book on Audible, trying to keep the house somewhat maintained throughout the day, knitting or blogging or crafting or reading when I can. When I put it like that, it's crazy to think that all of that happens every week!

Somewhere in those years, those couple of hours of quiet time each day disappeared. My regular time of Bible reading each day became sporadic and inconsistent at best, not because I didn't want to read the word, but because there just seemed to be no time for it. Quite a few months back I was praying and feeling convicted about needing to spend more time with God. I told God He was on my to-do list, but I had no clue how I was going to add "one more thing" to that ever growing list of stuff that needed to get done- how could I possibly add Him in?

In no uncertain terms, I felt God tell me, "I am not just 'One more thing' that you need to check off each day! I'm supposed to be the most important thing in your life!"

True.

What was I to do? My days were no longer the carefree, empty ones I'd had years ago. Outside of a crazy revamping of my schedule and neglecting my family and my kids' education, there was no way I was getting back those 2, 3, 4, hours a day I'd had in the past to spend time with God.

During all this time, I knew I was walking close with God, and I knew He loved me, and that I loved Him. But when I felt His pull on my heart, so often I told Him, like I sometimes needed to tell my husband, or one kid or another, "You're just going to have to trust that I love you, and you're going to need to wait."

But it was becoming obvious, and had been for some time, that spending time in the Word was not just going to happen on its own. But where to even begin?

I have my husband to thank for preaching a sermon about giving God your first fruits. This was something the Israelites were commanded to give to God, the rest they kept.

Deuteronomy 26:2"That thou shalt take of the first of all the fruit of the earth, which thou shalt bring of thy land that the LORD thy God giveth thee, and shalt put it in a basket, and shalt go unto the place which the LORD thy God shall choose to place his name there."

Exodus 22:29 "Thou shalt not delay to offer the first of thy ripe fruits, and of thy liquors: the firstborn of thy sons shalt thou give unto me."

I realized that God wasn't asking me for every last minute of my time. In fact, He expected nothing like that. After all, He was the one who gave me a family, and children in the first place and then called me to love and care for them. He knew my responsibilities. He had given me my to-do list.

But the truth was that I did need to give God more of my time, and not just more of it, but the very best of it- the first fruits.

So practically- what does that mean? What is the best of my time? I don't know what it is for every one else, but the first fruits of my time is the very first part of the day. I had been getting up earlier and earlier, pretty consistently around six o'clock, in an effort to get my busy days going sooner. I'd wake the kids at 6:30 and sit them down immediately in front of their schoolwork or on a piano bench. Our days went like this all day long, going from one activity to another, squeezing meals and house cleaning in between. 

Was I willing to give God those precious morning minutes? Was I willing to sacrifice the first minutes of the children's day as well, teaching them to follow my example of giving God the first fruits of their day?

Of course, the instant the question was asked, the answer was obvious, though I admit I still felt dubious. Yes, I would commit to try it.

How can I describe the difference this has made in our lives? I can't believe the peace and patience I feel in my heart throughout the day just by taking the time to read my Bible in the quiet of the morning. I can't explain it, but I've found myself waking up even earlier many days, on my own, closer to 5 or 5:30, and I actually feel more rested now then when I would try to sleep in till the last possible minute. When the kids wake up, or I wake them, around 6:30 or so, the older ones pick up their Bibles and journals, the middle ones generally read The Picture Bible on their own (it is our goal, as parents, to have our kids read through The Picture Bible many, many times), and I read to the little ones. Sometimes I read to them out of my Bible, sometimes from Arch books, and sometimes I start breakfast and have them listen to one of our Bible stories on cd instead. Around 7:00 I tell everyone we are done and to get started on the day.

The first week we tried it, at the end of the week I was thinking about what a great week it had been, and how most everything got done that needed to. The following week, I thought the same thing. I marveled for a moment about how smoothly life had been going. It was only then that I remembered that over the last two weeks, I had begun giving God the first fruits of my time. Now three, four, and five months later, I can't just chalk it up to coincidence. How can those few minutes a day be so life changing?  I'm not sure, but I'm also not sure how a couple loaves of bread and fish could feed a crowd of thousands. At the time, the disciples asked Jesus, "But what are these among so many?" Clearly, those few were plenty. 

No, of course everything isn't miraculously perfect and we still have our times of anger, frustration, or laziness during the days. Of course. I still feel scattered much of time. There's no way around that. But I will honestly say that giving God the best, and first part of my day, every single day, has been one of the most life changing things I can remember in recent years. If you are a busy mom, or even just a busy person (and who isn't?) and you have struggled with spending time with God's word, I would encourage you to try this. Sometimes you might have hours to spare, sometimes less than a half hour. If you don't think you have time in your mornings as they are, then consider setting your alarm just thirty minutes earlier and giving that time to God. I truly believe you will not regret it. Six months ago I didn't see how I could possibly spare the scattered, chaotic, first thirty minutes of my day to just spend quietly with God. Now I wouldn't trade that time for the world. 

The Original Score

An ongoing conversation at my kids' piano lessons lately has gotten me thinking about spiritual things.

Grace was just assigned a Beethoven sonata by her teacher, and an interesting exchange took place. She questioned him about the little arrow-like marks under the notes. "Those are supposed to be like staccatos, right?"

"Actually, there's a huge debate about that, believe it or not. That's called a 'staccatissimo', and  Beethoven used both those and the little dots that are traditionally called staccatos. Many people believe they should be played exactly the same way and are interchangeable. But the truth is we actually don't know what the difference is, if any, between the two marks. Some editions of Beethoven exclusively use the dots, others only those lines."

The question was interjected: "So maybe the lines were him just writing in a hurry and the pen just slipped?"

"Exactly. This is a subject of great interest for many  people, as a matter of fact. Entire books have been written on the subject, if you can imagine."

Cate and Grace exchanged amused glances at this that made me determine they probably wouldn't be among those to reading such books.

"You see, Beethoven often wrote music very, very quickly and of course he used a quill pen, which makes it more challenging to write small, precise dots."

Now he learned forward, and his eyes sparkled with excitement, like he had just unearthed the Dead Sea Scrolls. "With the internet, you can actually go online and see original Beethoven manuscripts and try to play from them. So much information is at our fingertips now! You can find the exact edition you want that closest resembles Beethoven's original ideas, none of this stuff with slurs and pedal added in later by someone else..."This was followed by a look resembling disgust and a shaking of his head.

This reminded me of a mistake I made a few weeks back- I had been told to bring an edition of Bach's inventions for Gideon to learn.

The teacher opened it and began to shake her head. "No, no, no...this is just not right!"

"What's wrong?" I asked, feeling horrified.

"This edition is not correct at all- do you see all this extra stuff in here?" She leaned forward to show me. "All these slurs added in- none of those were original! Someone put them in after! All these staccatos- Bach never wrote those! Look, they even write in the notes in the turns and the ornaments. Look, I want Gideon to know that this is not what the original Bach compositions looked like. The person that put together this edition is adding in his own ideas, but none of them are original to Bach! Why must people add in their own ideas to the music? They think it is for clarity, I suppose, or maybe to make it simpler to read, but when these slurs are added, you are not able to truly see what Bach wanted it to sound like- you are limited by that person's ideas now, not free to see what Bach original meant!"

I blushed, feeling ashamed that I had the audacity to purchase such a ridiculous edition of Bach Inventions.

These sort of incidents come up regularly in the kid's piano lessons.

"The original title to this duet is actually different from what's written here- the newspaper that originally published it misread it. Faure titled it 'Ketty Valse,' after his dog, Ketty, not 'Kitty Valse.' It has nothing to do with cats." 

"Most composers wrote their notations in Italian, but Debussy mainly wrote in French. Make certain you look up each French word so you know exactly what he intended."

"Bartok wrote the exact fingering you should use for a reason- make sure you follow it perfectly!"

It can be startling to hear someone talk with such reverence about the original manuscripts of the composers they love and admire. Both teachers clearly did not care about making something easier or simpler to play if doing so meant deviating from the composer's original intent.

All I could think of during these incidents was the Bible.

I feel like it would do us well as Christians to care about the faithfulness and accuracy of our Bible editions and translations half as much as Cate and Grace's teacher cares about original Beethoven scores. I'm not trying to start a "King James only" debate or something, I'm only suggesting that perhaps trying to remain as close to the original source as possible might be an idea worth entertaining. I don't usually hear this debate brought up anymore, which may mean that it's no longer even debated. It seems to be a given these days that you should just read whatever version of the Bible you find easiest to read with no thought given as to how true the version stays to the actual, original words which were penned by apostles and prophets under the guidance of God himself.

On the infrequent occasion when the topic of Bible versions is brought up, I generally hear that older word for word translations are "too hard" to read, as opposed to more modern paraphrased ones, such as The Message which just try to get the general idea accross. Granted, the language of certain versions can be challenging and some of the words are archaic, but the language of legal and medical books can be challenging, and yet no one would ever dream of sacrificing the accuracy of these texts  just to make them easier or more fun to read. The highest goal of Cate and Grace's piano teacher, and of every legal and medical textbook ever published, is accuracy, not ease of use. Shouldn't we as Christians care at least as much for the accuracy of our Bibles upon which we claim to base our lives? 

I do not declare myself to be an expert, by any means, but you don't have to be an expert to know that the two passages below are not saying the same things.

Ps 25:10 KJV

All the paths of the LORD are mercy and truth unto such as keep his covenant and his testimonies.

Ps 25:10 The Message

From now on every road you travel will take you to God. Follow the Covenant signs; read the charted directions.

 

While the author of The Message may have had good intentions in paraphrasing what he believes David was saying, it is clear that the first translation says that only the, "paths of the Lord", will lead you to mercy and truth, while the Message promises that, "every road you travel will lead you to God" which is the exact opposite meaning. In one you have to follow God's paths while in the other you can follow any path. If you can imagine two versions of Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata performed with similar disparity, you would clearly be hearing two very different pieces of music.

When it comes to music, we can choose to be a stickler about staying true to Beethoven's original compositions, but no one's life is hanging in the balance if we stray from his original intent and add in a few slurs here and there. However, when it come to the Bible we are talking about matters of life and death. Psalm 119: 105 says, "Thy Word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path." And if this is the case, and I happen to believe that it is with all my heart, then I want that lamp to be gleaming as bright as it possibly can. I don't want its light dimmed or diminished by the added grime of the thoughts, opinions and prejudices of men.

It certainly is amazing to have piano teachers who try with all their ability and energy to teach my kids how to play music that is hundreds of years old as closely as possible to the way the composer intended it to be played. The musical genius of the composer stands unquestioned by these teachers. The attitude is, "If only someone today could play piano like Liszt, or channel Bach himself (such as Glenn Gould, who came so very close!), or get into the mind of Chopin and perform his brilliant works the way they were meant to be played!" Such reverence for the original composition and its composer puts to shame much of our modern approach to the Bible and its author.

In general, I think many of us believe that the Bible is God's word. But we have become so comfortable with this well worn phrase that it has ceased to work its awe upon us. Think about it! The word of God. The words of a God! And these divine words were not just written - they written to us. To you. To me. Written by our creator for the sole purpose of enlightening our blindness as we navigate these tumultuous waters called life. How often do we take for granted the fact that we have the very words of God, written in a book that we likely own a half dozen copies of?

Let's not lose the wonder of the Bible. Its wonder lies in the fact that that among all the books that you can download with a click of a button or the tap of a finger on the information superhighway, it is the only one that honestly and truly and in fact was written by a God! in trying to make it easy to read, let's not loose this wonder by cluttering it up with the thoughts of common men.

If you will forgive me one more indulgence in my musical analogy - the little dots or lines under the notes of the Beethoven Sonata are fairly trivial in and of themselves. So whats the big deal? Why make an issue out of them? The big deal is that while they may only be small marks in a big Sonata they are small marks written by the brilliance and genius of Beethoven, and Beethoven put them there for a reason! That and that alone should be enough to not impose upon his compositions the supposed improvements and clarifications of lesser men. Every choice to include or exclude a specific staccato, or stacatissimo, was made by Beethoven himself to serve his vision for the much larger sonata, and each of those little seemingly insignificant marks plays a small part in the beauty of Bethoven's triumph. Majesty. Splendor. Glory. That was Beethoven's goal. And from what I gather from Cate and Grace - he wasn't terribly concerned with writing things that were easy to play!

Jesus said, "Verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law

Like Beethoven's staccatos, every jot and tittle that God has ever written to us in the holy scriptures is important for one reason and for one reason alone - because it is He who wrote them. He wrote them. And His genius towers far above that of Beethoven or any mortal man as the heavens stretch out above the sea. And because of this, and nothing more, we should tremble at the thought of removing a single word that He has included, or to add own words to His, or to read as His word any Bible that dares to do either of these things, lest the masterpiece of His word be lost to us altogether. We should instead approach the Bible as my children's music teachers approach Beethoven - with humility.

Every jot and tittle that God included in the Bible is important and indispensable because they each play their own little part, just like Beethoven's staccatos, to lend beauty and texture to the larger Sonata. And if the Bible can be thought of as a sonata, then its theme is Christ.

Jesus said, "Search the scriptures; for in them ye think ye have eternal life: and they are they which testify of me." John 5:39

That's it. That's what its all about. The Bible is all about Jesus.

And we can't throw any of it away. Because all of it points to Him.

And we can't just alter it at will to suit our tastes or our culture because it's not about us, it's about Him.

He is the Living Word, the word made flesh who dwelt among us. And not one jot or tittle of God's word should be lost or cast carelessly aside in paraphrase or translation, because all of it - all of it - testifies of Christ.

***Thanks to my husband for helping to edit this for clarity***

Family Tree

Wow, all seven kids in a photo. This happens so rarely. When it does finally happen, then it's hard to get everyone smiling and looking at the camera at the same time. This was the best photo out of a million, and Gideon and Clemmie are out focus. Too bad.

A photo like this lets me see all the changes that have taken place since the last time they were all together. Wait, is the fourteen year old actually taller now than the sixteen year old??? I do believe Grace had on some boots that brought her up a couple inches, but still...and where did my baby go? Last photo I took of all of them, Clementine still needed to be held! A friend of mine, who has six children of his own, recently referred to his kids as "the babies." 

"What babies? " I asked. "Your youngest is three now!"

When I look into the future I can't bear the thought of my kids growing up and no longer being the little people they are (at least some of them are still little) now. But then I look at where we are at today, with no newborn in the house; no pair of toddlers playing together all day; no more nap time where three children sleep each afternoon (actually now the teenagers wish they could do this!); instead, a son who is about to turn twelve who mows the lawn for me and does algebra; two daughters that feel the need to give me fashion advice; an almost nine year old who is beginning to have very mature and grown up conversations with me; a kindergartner who is proving to be quite the intelligent little person; a four year old who gives me the absolute BEST compliments; and a toddler who dances and sings the day away. It's so crazy. I love each and every one of them at the stage they are at right now and don't want to move backwards. I believe it is Aslan (via C.S.Lewis) who said, "The best is yet to come." I do believe this, if only because it's been my personal experience.

The other day I was reading Psalm 1.

Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. But his delight is in the law of the Lord; and in his law doth he meditate day and night. And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper. 

When our family started out it was like a little seedling, with a tiny root and a tiny stem and barely able to survive. I remember those early years, with Ben and I fighting constantly, each of us always wanting to be the one to dictate how our life would be. With lots of prayer and struggle we each grew to be kinder and more considerate, though it became hard again when we brought our new baby Catharine Fair home from the hospital. Those middle of the night arguments, with each of us so short on sleep, where we tried to decide what was best for our daughter, and who would do what, were epic. Your life is no longer your own when you have a baby. With each year that passed by we learned more about each other, and each subsequent child, and life, and God. We didn't do everything right, in fact we made so many mistakes, but each year we stayed planted by the water and the roots grew deeper. That's what our family feels like now: a tree, and a pretty large one at that. Seven branches that are getting bigger by the day.

Some years were wonderful, some years were hard, so, so hard. If you were to ask me the secret of how we made it to where we are today, it's actually not very complicated or dramatic. Here it is: we didn't quit. Before we were married Ben and I agreed that the Bible would be the authority and guideline for how we lived our lives. We both agreed to submit to what it says, and it's the rulebook we do our best to follow in our marriage, and in raising our kids. "But his delight is in the law of the Lord; and in his law doth he meditate day and night." We didn't do everything right, but we did do this. I figure, everyone has blind spots and has things they should be doing, and don't. But if at least you do your best with what you know you should do, you'll get a lot closer to the goal than not trying at all. I'm one of those people who tends to give up when I feel overwhelmed or hopeless. But having a family has taught me that as long as you keep moving forward, even if at times its at the rate of a sloth, you're still getting somewhere. The best bet, when you find yourself veering off the path, is to get back on it before you go to far in the wrong direction. This is what I teach my children, and this is something, over the years, I think that I've learned to do.

I try my best not to write corny things on here, that I don't feel from my heart. I hope that's how this comes across- from the heart, rather than corny, that is. I'm just feeling so grateful for a God who keeps his promises. "He shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water."

 

Good bye, Denmark

A final visit to Tivoli, decorated for Christmas, was where we symbolically said our good-byes. This time tomorrow I will be on a plane headed for home, and while I couldn't be happier, naturally a part of me is sad to leave the interesting and unique life we got to experience in Europe. In my wildest dreams I would have never guessed that our family would be fortunate enough to spend three months living and experiencing another country.

When we get back, I have lots and lots and lots of hugs planned for family and friends. I can't wait for that. Thanksgiving preparations will need to get immediately underway, and after that, planning for the Christmas holidays. I'm going to visit Chipotle and eat a burrito as soon as is humanly possible. And I really, really, really miss my bed. Unspeakably.

These things make life wonderful, the little and the big. The day to day ordinariness and the epic events. The joy, the fear, the love, the loneliness, the excitement, the boredom, the busy-ness, the stillness. 

After the horrendous attacks last week in Paris, Ben and I were talking about the emotion and fear that follows something as devastating as that. It doesn't have to be a terrorist attack; there are all too many things in this life that can consume every moment we live with fear or regret. Cancer, aging, disease, sickness, bills, worry about what the future holds for your children, years passing all too quickly with your children, an overseas job that keeps you from loved ones.

Jesus said to take no thought for tomorrow, for sufficient is the evil of the day. Wise words from the wisest Man who ever lived. Many things about tomorrow I don't seem to understand, but I know who holds tomorrow, and I know who holds my hand. If I keep the words to this song to heart, I have nothing to fear, even if the eventuality of the worst case scenario should ever take place in my life.

Beautiful Denmark, and LIFE

Oh, Denmark, we have had such a wonderful time visiting your beautiful spots and enjoying your scenery and culture. I can't believe it, but we will be going home in two weeks. To say that all of us are excited is an understatement. Home. Such a home-y word, and such a home-y place. So much comfort being in the place you are used to. I'm sure with time other locations could end up feeling like home, too, including Denmark. I'm thankful we got to have this experience of making Denmark our home for these past months. I won't say that I know a word of Danish, even still, after all this time, though I can read it better. But much of Denmark will stay with me.

I'm starting to mourn the bakery down the road from us already. I need to give the sweet lady who works there a word of warning when we go. Because I'm sure she must have increased their daily order to accommodate our family out here. Same thing with the grocery stores.

Last night I bought about twenty packaged salami snacks for the kids, one of their favorite snacks out here. Laughing, I told the girl at the check out not to worry, I left some in the store. Then I went back to the store last night and I almost bought another twenty salami snacks, since we had made short work of the ones I'd bought last night, believe it or not. But the very same girl was at the check out stand as had been here the night before, and I just could not do it. Some people have no shame, but I at least have a little.

On a totally unrelated note, this has been a great semester of homeschooling for us. Since my oldest is in tenth grade, it seems that it's taken me eleven years, but I think I finally have figured out what I like and what works best for our family. It's the first year I've felt comfortable with the curriculum I am or am not using. This year there's less panic (I said less, not none) and more confidence in what I'm doing with the children, as well as more faith in the entire homeschooling system. It took a while, but I'm starting to get it figured out. Isn't that the way with everything, though? Now that Ben and I have been married for seventeen years, we totally know what would make the first year of marriage awesome, how to survive the stress and trauma of a brand new baby, how to make it through those early arguments and disagreements. Too bad this wisdom has come to us a dozen or more years too late. Life. It's tricky to navigate, impossible to figure out. The moment you feel like you're finally in your comfort zone, everything changes and you find yourself in an entirely new scenario to have to navigate. Thank God for the Captain of our Salvation, Jesus Christ.  Not to sound too corny here, but I will gladly place Him at the helm of the ship of my life. No one better than Jesus to navigate those stormy seas.

Beauty in the Every Day

 

School work is what's been happening around here. And knitting squeezed in while I'm helping Jude find "P-P-P" sounds. Despite feeling like my busiest homeschool year yet, with five kids to teach, and a baby and a VERY busy three year old to entertain, it also feels like my most productive year yet. It's fun how the busier and the more work I have to do, the more productive I am. I have no idea why that is. We watched an Andy Griffith episode the other night where Andy tries to free Aunt Bea of her duties by hiring an English butler for a short time. Aunt Bea begins to feel sad and depressed and Opie eventually tells the butler that Aunt Bea used to always sing, when she was going about the house working, but that she hasn't sung for a while. And then the sweet butler puts two and two together and  realizes that he's worked Aunt Bea out of a job and left her feeling useless, so he finds an opportunity to get himself fired, and Aunt Bea gets straight to work cleaning up and cooking and she's happy again.

I couldn't help but understand poor Aunt Bea during the show. I'm pretty sure I'm the same way. Not when it comes to housework, really, because honestly I'm not a great housekeeper, but I just don't care to have huge chunks of leisure time with nothing productive to do. I get pretty antsy and then I just can't wait to get back to daily life and find some outlet for work, and with it, creativity. I probably get it from my mom, who has absolute boundless energy and hasn't sit still for more than an hour in her life. For me it's not necessarily physical activity I crave, but I hate the feeling of not being in the middle of some big, interesting project. A business; a blog; a fairisle sweater; a group of friends over for dinner; figuring out the settings on my camera; sourdough bread; teaching a five year old to read; remembering what sine, cosine and tangent mean and trying to do quick refresher on husing a scientific calculator for the tenth grader; and if all those things aren't enough, dreaming of another, bigger project to tackle in the future. 

Don't mistake me and think that all the projects around the house always get done, haha, far from it. I often have to bring myself back to reality when my husband asks where the clean towels are. Or any towels, for that matter, would do just now... For instance, in the middle of packing for our trip, rather than let my mind put all it's energy into making sure to stay organized and not forget anything for our three months out of the country, I suddenly got sidetracked in the middle of it and began unravelling a sweater I'd knit years ago but wasn't get much wear anymore. This kind of thing tends to drive the rest of my family crazy, and I have to work hard to not float off on a tangent (HAH!) that often.

I think there is joy to be found in all sorts of daily tasks, and plenty of engagement for the mind if you really try. It's something I remind my kids of when they get weary of what can be the daily monotony of their lives. However, it's hard for me to preach to them, "Stick to you scales on the piano everyday and have a good attitude about it, and you'll discover that it's actually fun and you'll be glad you did years down the road from now," when mid cleaning I become distracted and leave to do something else more stimulating.

Oh, the lessons we learn from our kids; so often it's just like looking in a mirror. I guess that's why the Bible talks about striving to make our lives a reflection of Jesus. The closer we get toward living life like the perfect Man, the greater the fruits from it will be reflected in those around us. I say this not to make myself feel more condemned about my failings, but rather as an inspiration and a reminder of God's grace in me, working in me, to enable me to do the task He's set forth for me to do. 

And in the meantime I'm going to pull out my scientific calculator and try to show Cate the joy there is to be found in algebra. I know it's there if she looks for it.