life of seven

Encouragement for weary moms

Do you need any of that today? If there's one thing I find myself needing to get through the day in and day out, it's that.

Here are some scriptures I have been thinking about recently: "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me," from Psalm 23, or Isaiah 43:2, "When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee." Romans 8:35 "Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?"

The connection I'm seeing with all these verses is that in the midst of our trial and tribulations and fears and difficulties, God is always there. He never leaves us. He doesn't always take our trials away. We still have to live our lives and face the struggles that come with it. But in the midst of it all, He tells us, "I see you."

Recently I was praying and I felt God's presence come so near to me. I had been going through what had felt like a dry spell, where prayer and Bible reading didn't feel like they were as full of life as they had been in the past. While worshipping God, as tears streamed down my cheeks, I told Him a bit desperately, "Don't leave me alone again after this. Please don't ever leave me!"

Instantly these words poured into my heart, "I will never leave you, or forsake you."

"When the poor and needy seek water and there is none, and their tongue faileth for thirst, I the Lord will hear them, I the God of Israel will not forsake them." (Isaiah 41:17)

"For the mountains shall depart, and the hills be removed; but my kindness shall not depart from Thee." (Isaiah 54:10)

"Lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world." (Matthew 28:20)

It's hard to put these things into words. But it means SO MUCH to realize that even while we are going through hardships, even when we go through dry spells, even when God feels far off, that He is always there, that He is our help. Because, honestly, if you asked any mom for the number one thing she needed, wouldn't she say, "I just need some HELP around here!"

It's not like the bills and dirty dishes and mess are going to miraculously go away just because I know God is with me. But that's not the kind of help I need, or want. (Sure, I will never turn that kind of help down!) What I need is to know that I have God with me. That He sees my struggles. That my life matters to Him. That He loves me. That He wants me to succeed at the job He's given me. That He'll give me wisdom in those thousand decisions a day that I'm faced with. That I need to keep running my race to the finish line, and He can't run the race for me, but can give me the endurance I need to finish strong.

"Hast thou not known? Hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary?" (Isaiah 40:28) Oh, thank the Lord for that. If there's anything my weary bones need, it is an everlasting God who never grows weary.

"He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength." (v. 29) That verse seems to hold an especially powerful meaning and beauty to a mom.Think about it. Power to the faint. Strength to the weak.

"Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall." (I think this verse is saying, "Don't worry, Mama, even that relentlessly fussy baby; and crazy, bouncing, energetic toddler; and wild and dangerous six year old boy are eventually going to need rest and will, though it may seem otherwise, eventually fall asleep. Fear not!")

"But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint." (v 30, 31)

So don't faint. Don't grow weary. Don't quit. God the Helper, God the Provider, God our strength will never leave us. He will never forsake us. We can do this thing.

 

Evie's Haircut

We all love Evie's new hair cut! She has had her hair bobbed like this for quite a few years, actually, but I think it has been a good year since the last haircut. Having it grow out a bit meant we could braid and style it a bit more, but she, and I, and our friends, and the hairstylist, all agree, THIS is Evie's haircut. Just in time for her piano competition this evening, too!

Evie's Haircut

We all love Evie's new hair cut! She has had her hair bobbed like this for quite a few years, actually, but I think it has been a good year since the last haircut. Having it grow out a bit meant we could braid and style it a bit more, but she, and I, and our friends, and the hairstylist, all agree, THIS is Evie's haircut. Just in time for her piano competition this evening, too!

Cinderella

I had to run to the music store this morning and spied the music to the live action Cinderella movie, one of my all time favorite movies. I couldn't resist picking up a copy to surprise the kids. You see, our beautiful, crystal Cinderella resides on our baby grand piano in the living room and she, and the piano, are the most precious possessions we own. My kids and I loved every moment of the movie so much, especially the moment when Cinderella enters the ballroom and walks down the stairs in the loveliest, swishiest gown imaginable, with the song that her mother sang to her as a little girl, "Lavender Blue," playing in the background by the orchestra. Excuse me a moment while I brush away a tear.

It's hard to have very nice things in a house full of so many kids. I'm used to broken dishes and mugs and dirty floors and walls. Ahem, and dusty pianos. I hide most of the precious stuff away, but the lovely Cinderella figurine I leave out on top of the piano, to inspire all of us to "Have courage and be kind," our favorite motto around here. I can't wait to see the kids' reaction when they walk into the living room and spy the book on the piano. Hopefully it will inspire more courage and kindness to abound than ever before. At the very least, there will be some beautiful music making!

18

We had such a wonderful time celebrating Cate's 18th birthday with family and friends. A friend suggested making the party a fancy dress up one, with live background music (plenty of willing participants for that around here!) and I knew that would be perfect. We bought plenty of bouquets and spread them through the house, lit candles, and asked people to bring fancy appetizers. But, the funnest part of the night was the live entertainment portion, where everyone was treated to a cello solo, a euphonium/piano duet, and several performances of Cate's favorite songs. So, lots of Hamilton, La La Land, and The Greatest Showman was heard. It was so much fun and made the night feel really special, which is what I wanted. I wanted my girl, who is so grown up now, to have a grown up party and feel as loved and special as she deserves. Which is a lot. I know it was a memorable evening for her, one she won't forget. I'm sure, if I continue blogging frequently, I will write more thoughts on what it is like to have my children transition from kids to adults. For now, I will say, that it is magical. It's amazing. I'm so proud of them I could just burst. I miss newborns, and toddlers, of course, but having grown-up Cate in my life a close friend, and watching her set goals and achieve them, is indescribable. The whole parenting package is absolutely miraculous as I've seen it unfold for 18 years now. So many unexpected delights and fun and laughter, and, now, as my kids are getting older, the discovery that I have made friends for life. 

Home Schooling: the copy work edition

I thought that I would give a little insight into some of our schoolwork today. You can get some idea from Evie's checklists made for herself, above, what one of our a school days looks like. This is from a day when I was going to be gone for a good portion of the time. Unlike me, my kids love checklists. We don't make them every day, though perhaps I should implement that idea, and while doing so, explain to Evie how to spell "piano" among other things, correctly, more than 50% of the time. Hah.

Something I've recently added to our school days is copy work for the younger kids as simply an exercise to improve penmanship and concentrate on grammar (as opposed to gramMER), punctuation, and spelling. My older girls, Cate and Grace, do not need to do copy work. Especially Grace. Somewhere down the road she got inspired to make her handwriting beautiful. The rest of us just drool over it. Here is a sample of her doodling the other night. 

What is copy work? The idea is to pick a passage out of a book, or a poem, or a beautiful example of the English language of some sort, and the kids copy the passage down as neatly and accurately as possible. As a child is learning to write, asking for perfect spelling, penmanship, grammar, punctuation, oh, and please write something creative and beautiful, is quite overwhelming. So I try to separate creative writing from the time that I insist on perfect spelling and penmanship and all those other things. Copy work is the time we concentrate on the other things. Many people have written about this in depth, who I am sure have much more eloquent things to say on the subject, so I will just add the couple of things that we do that you may find helpful. They spend just 15 minutes a day doing it. Home school moms, if you are adding something new to your daily routine, let me suggest that you just start with consistent, 15 minute-per-day intervals. That way, it will get done every day and you will not become overwhelmed. It's pretty easy to squeeze in 15 minutes a day to learning a new skill. For the long term, you will be much more consistent if you only need to spend 15 minutes per day on something.

Secondly, I suggest making sure your children (or you! why not?) have a beautiful fountain pen that is delightful to write with when doing copy work. If they are at the stage where they will really be erasing a lot, then use instead a wonderful mechanical pencil with a substantial eraser. Think about this, you guys. Have you ever written with a beautiful pen that glides over the paper that made you wish you had beautiful handwriting to justify the pen and ink you were using? It is just so much more fun to write when you love the tools you are using. Again, many folks have written substantial articles on this, but in short, I will say that I have found my kids write much better and concentrate so much more on their penmanship when they are using beautiful tools for the job. Think of how you feel when you take extra time to get dressed up in the morning, taking the time to put together a nice outfit and style your hair (as opposed to those mornings where it's a sweatpants kind of day. We all have those days, too, of course). Getting dressed up causes you to square your shoulders a bit, stand up straighter, and feel less lazy. That's sort of the effect I've discovered that beautiful writing tools have on my children's handwriting.

Okay, one final thing I'll add. For improving printing, graph paper works so well. Those little squares really help children to make uniformly shaped letters, and it's so fun to use, as well. Try it. Get a lovely pen, find some graph paper, and start printing words. It's so much fun! The more you practice, the better your writing will look, and you will love looking at the neat results! Graph paper is just great to use for school work, in general. Math problems line up so neatly on those even little squares.

I feel I need to add a caveat: I laid out the ideal, here. The reality is, lots of days, good pens and pencils and graph paper go missing. No one can find the book they are copying out of. The dining room table never got wiped off after breakfast and no one wants to write on a table that's sticky with maple syrup. Or whatever the case may be. Here's the thing with ideals: have a goal in mind that you are striving for and do your best to meet it, and don't sweat it when everything isn't perfect. That's the key for not losing your mind if you are a mom, especially a home school mom. Have a goal in mind. Do your best to meet it. And don't forget to look at progress being made, and not allow yourself to get bogged down with day to day stuff. The monotony and frustration will overwhelm you. Stick to the plan and you will see progress. I promise.

Okay, well that's as much as I have time to write about today. Let me close by showing you a final picture of the saga my son Jude began writing. The Long Adventure, books 1, 2, and 3. He informed me he has another three or so in this series, and then he has plans for a new series. I can't wait to see what the new series will be about. I wonder if it will be as Tolkien-esque as the current series he is writing...

 

Mr. Knightly

***Finds blog site, checks login info, dusts off keyboard, wiggles fingers in anticipation*** 

My husband paid me what I took as a compliment the other day, though it perhaps wasn't intended as such. "Your worst failing in life," he began.

"Oh, no Ben," I groaned. "Do we have to have this conversation?" anticipating what was to come. One thing you need to know about Ben. His Jane Austen doppleganger, in personality, at any rate, would be Mr. Knightly.

Have you ever looked for your, and your friends' and families' literary dopplegangers? Those characters in literature that you recognize immediately because they are so much like you, or remind you exactly of another person? It is great fun. One of mine is the rather obscure Katherine Krupnik, the absentminded, artistic, excellent cook if she remembers to plan dinner, schedule-phobic, family-adoring mother of Anastasia Krupnik. Yep. Pretty much describes me to a T. But back to what I was saying.

You would think it would be wonderful to be married to Mr. Knightly. Actually, it is. Mr. Knightly, undoubtedly, would be my pick over, say, Mr. Darcy, or Mr. Bingley, Colonel Brandon, Mr Ferrars, or, borrowing from the Hunger Games, Gale, or Peeta (no contest there- who even invited those two schmucks into the competition???). Now, when you bring up Gilbert Blythe, the competition gets a bit tougher, but in general, I can say wholeheartedly that Mr. Knightly from Emma is one of my favorite literary male characters. So, it is lucky I married my own Mr. Knightly.

But here's the thing with Mr Knightly: the "Badly done, Emma! Badly done!" scene. Emma deserved that, and knows she deserved it. See, Mr. Knightly is not afraid to speak his mind when he thinks something should be corrected or rectified. And, so, being married to Mr.Knightly's doppelganger, perhaps you can imagine, has its own set of peculiar challenges. Ben and I devote time, lots and lots and lots of time, evaluating ourselves, our marriage, our family, and our lives, to discuss what's working, and what's not, what could be improved, and so on. Because of this, I have him to thank for helping me come up with systems to make our house run smoothly, homeschooling plans where everyone knows what is supposed to happen each day, meals that get on the table most evenings (even though I can space out about that at times: "Dinner? We need to eat dinner again tonight? But I made dinner last night! Do we really need to eat again so soon?" Told you I was like Katherine Krupnik! Thanks to Ben's help with coming up with a plan, that rarely happens anymore), a house that gets cleaned three times a day, time for me to spend with God each morning.

All these things have bettered our lives, even though they have been challenging to implement at first. That's the thing, us creative types don't realize at first that a clean workspace and environment actually encourages creativity, not inhibits it. While a detailed daily schedule really doesn't fit me well (I've tried), instead, having a daily routine that I stick to quite closely really makes the homeschooling day go more smoothly for everyone. Each child knows what is supposed to happen every day, and what their jobs and responsibilities are.

These things, I have to thank, in large part, to my Mr. Knightly. 

At times, though, being married to a real life Mr. Knightly can have it's own set of frustrations. Being reminded frequently of things that need to be corrected can feel overwhelming at times. In the book, he tells Emma something like (I don't have the exact words in front of me), "I have rebuked and corrected you, and you have born it wonderfully!" Every now and then, to keep my spirits up, and to make fun of himself for how high a standard he sets, at times, for our lives, Ben jokingly quotes that exact phrase to me. 

Anyway, the other day, Ben said to me, "Do you want to know what your worst failing is?"

"Not particularly, no," I groaned.

"Your worst failing," he continued, ignoring my scrunched up face and the fact I crumpled myself in a heap upon hearing the words (we were both laughing, by the way), "your worst failing is that you have not been faithful to your blog where you take pictures of our kids, and write about our lives, and put our stories as they all grow up, into your blog."

"That's my worst failing?" I repeated, straightening up. "Wow, you must think I'm amazing. How can that be my worst failing?"

"You are amazing."

"Oh." See, it's really a great thing to be married to Mr. Knightly.

"But I want you to write your blog."

"Oh. Okay. I agree. Actually, yeah, I really miss recording all of that down, too."

One of my dearest friends, Tarah, is akin to my husband in that she is not afraid to bring up the hard topics. Every now and then, she sends me a text. "WRITE YOUR BLOG!" Well, she happened to be over that night. "Write your blog, Jen!"

"Okay, okay, I'll do it! Okay!"

Yesterday, I saw her at church. "Write your blog!"

"Okay, okay, I will!"

And so I have, today, at least. 

I'll leave you with a picture of Cate on her 18th (for real!) birthday.