Wow, all seven kids in a photo. This happens so rarely. When it does finally happen, then it's hard to get everyone smiling and looking at the camera at the same time. This was the best photo out of a million, and Gideon and Clemmie are out focus. Too bad.
A photo like this lets me see all the changes that have taken place since the last time they were all together. Wait, is the fourteen year old actually taller now than the sixteen year old??? I do believe Grace had on some boots that brought her up a couple inches, but still...and where did my baby go? Last photo I took of all of them, Clementine still needed to be held! A friend of mine, who has six children of his own, recently referred to his kids as "the babies."
"What babies? " I asked. "Your youngest is three now!"
When I look into the future I can't bear the thought of my kids growing up and no longer being the little people they are (at least some of them are still little) now. But then I look at where we are at today, with no newborn in the house; no pair of toddlers playing together all day; no more nap time where three children sleep each afternoon (actually now the teenagers wish they could do this!); instead, a son who is about to turn twelve who mows the lawn for me and does algebra; two daughters that feel the need to give me fashion advice; an almost nine year old who is beginning to have very mature and grown up conversations with me; a kindergartner who is proving to be quite the intelligent little person; a four year old who gives me the absolute BEST compliments; and a toddler who dances and sings the day away. It's so crazy. I love each and every one of them at the stage they are at right now and don't want to move backwards. I believe it is Aslan (via C.S.Lewis) who said, "The best is yet to come." I do believe this, if only because it's been my personal experience.
The other day I was reading Psalm 1.
Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. But his delight is in the law of the Lord; and in his law doth he meditate day and night. And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper.
When our family started out it was like a little seedling, with a tiny root and a tiny stem and barely able to survive. I remember those early years, with Ben and I fighting constantly, each of us always wanting to be the one to dictate how our life would be. With lots of prayer and struggle we each grew to be kinder and more considerate, though it became hard again when we brought our new baby Catharine Fair home from the hospital. Those middle of the night arguments, with each of us so short on sleep, where we tried to decide what was best for our daughter, and who would do what, were epic. Your life is no longer your own when you have a baby. With each year that passed by we learned more about each other, and each subsequent child, and life, and God. We didn't do everything right, in fact we made so many mistakes, but each year we stayed planted by the water and the roots grew deeper. That's what our family feels like now: a tree, and a pretty large one at that. Seven branches that are getting bigger by the day.
Some years were wonderful, some years were hard, so, so hard. If you were to ask me the secret of how we made it to where we are today, it's actually not very complicated or dramatic. Here it is: we didn't quit. Before we were married Ben and I agreed that the Bible would be the authority and guideline for how we lived our lives. We both agreed to submit to what it says, and it's the rulebook we do our best to follow in our marriage, and in raising our kids. "But his delight is in the law of the Lord; and in his law doth he meditate day and night." We didn't do everything right, but we did do this. I figure, everyone has blind spots and has things they should be doing, and don't. But if at least you do your best with what you know you should do, you'll get a lot closer to the goal than not trying at all. I'm one of those people who tends to give up when I feel overwhelmed or hopeless. But having a family has taught me that as long as you keep moving forward, even if at times its at the rate of a sloth, you're still getting somewhere. The best bet, when you find yourself veering off the path, is to get back on it before you go to far in the wrong direction. This is what I teach my children, and this is something, over the years, I think that I've learned to do.
I try my best not to write corny things on here, that I don't feel from my heart. I hope that's how this comes across- from the heart, rather than corny, that is. I'm just feeling so grateful for a God who keeps his promises. "He shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water."
